A Message From Green (unedited by GMOT)

Hello Kickballers-

Since we only won 2 games last season we are quite
happy to just muddy up the playoffs picture for those
teams above us in the standings- which, you will note,
are fewer than there were last season. Down goes
yellow! Down goes red! Look out Blue! It just took us
a while to get our pitching in order is all. I am
thinking the playoffs might be a different picture
than some people have anticipated- a spoiler in the
mix?

After the last two (victorious) weeks I think we are
dangerously on the verge of feeling short lived win
induced euphoria that yellow got early in the season.
That is not to say we plan on losing, but hey who
knows, at least the season has been a great excuse to
make new friends- Adam, Mike, Steve, Birdman, Monica,
and Amber (thanks JANNA!)- laugh a lot, and run around
like a bunch of 10 year olds. What a deal!

Sincerely- the Badgers

Division Party

Hello Everyone,

We will be having our first division party this Saturday, April 26th.

12:30 - 2:00 Belmont Park, rides, bumper cars, challenging your board to feats of strength and skill.

2:00 - 4:00 The Sandbar

Pitchers will be covered at the Sandbar until we reach our budget and we'll also have a couple of platters of munchies.

Also, there will be votes for award winners from last season, as well as a likely rousing game of quarters.

I'll be looking forward to seeing all of you there.

RJ McKay
CA Pacific Division President

Red V. Black May Determine Vegas Qualifiers

So, uh. Green beat us. And then they taunted us. There were tears. A hard fought game, keeping the Red Machine to 1 run is no easy task.



We finish with a doubleheader. First against the upstart expansion team, the Yey Grr Boms, followed by a bitter game against the Black team. This game will likely determine who gets the #1 seed, and the qualification for Vegas for being the best team in the regular season. (Note, both teams in the championship game will also qualify for Vegas, so it's possible for 3 seperate teams to qualify).

Here's how it looks to work (forgive me if inaccurate, this is off since the standings haven't been updated in 2 weeks). Please note, from the standings page, Black has an additional loss, and a tie with orange. Orange has a win and an additional tie, and Black has won their last 2 games.

If Red beats Black, and Orange wins, Orange will qualify for Vegas based on being the #1 team from the regular season.

If Red beats Black and White and Orange loses, we have a 3 way tie, where tiebreakers would be applied.

If Black beats Red and Orange wins, Black and Orange will tie, tiebreakers would be applied.

Orange = Didn't Win

So, uh, last week was interesting. Guess what happened? Orange didn't win. Red didn't win. They played against each other. There was lots of screaming and shouting, and in the end, both sides emerged without a loss. Here's hoping the teams meet in the championship for a dreaded rematch.

This does complicate things a bit though, adding the possibility of the season title and seeding going down to tiebreakers, as Orange, Black, and Red all have 1 loss and 1 tie.

It will be an interesting road.

Oh yeah, and we want Red to win this week.

Dear Ghost Man,

Dear Ghost Man,

I'm a single kickballer, and have a huge thing for one of the players on another team. How do I approach this other team player? Are inter-team relations frowned upon in this league?

Lack of Love

Dear Lack of Love,

This is a common problem for many kickballers. I suggest you try one of these tried-and-true methods for wooing your beloved kickballer.

1. Challenge him/her to a flip cup challenge. Try 2, 5, even 10-Cup Flip Cup. A little drinky-poo doesn't hurt in the lack of inhibition department. Obviously do not attempt to hook up with anyone who is way more drunk than yourself, but if you are equal amounts drunk then no one is taking advantage of the other.

2. Try singing him/her a song via karaoke - no kickballer can resist karaoke. Extra points for wacky dance moves and songs with your beloved's name in them.

3. When all else fails pass a note during study hall or send a friend to find out if he/she likes you.

And remember ALL relationships are celebrated in kickball.

-Ghost Man


Dear Ghost Man,

Recently I've suffered a career threatening injury. I've got a huge gash on my bunting foot. Dr. Andrews is suggesting season ending surgery, but I'm not so sure. What is the best way to deal with injuries in this league?

Wincing Bunter

Dear Wincing Bunter,

Keep playing until your foot falls off. There is nothing worse that not being able to play kickball - any doctor that says things like, "you'll still lead a fulfilling life" is full of shit and should not be trusted. Pour some vodka on your foot (and in your mouth) and go bunt your little heart out.

-Ghost Man

Dear Ghost Man,

I want to know more about you. What makes you tick? How do you reply to emails if you are ethereal? Do "Ghost Mans" have to eat?

Curious Sally

Dear Curious Sally,

Obviously you do not read this blog thoroughly enough. I've already taken the liberty of describing myself and my interest in my profile, there's nothing more that you need to know than that.

I don't really HAVE to eat, but I do enjoy some tasty morsels & libations on occasion.

-Ghost Man

Deep Throat

HHHEEELLLOOO Kickballers!!!

I’m back. Sorry I’ve been out for awhile, but don’t think you were safe from me. MMMUUWWWAAHHAAAA!!!

Week 3 – The men were very, very drunk that night. Some were behaving in a very weird manner. Mark C. from GNF was so drunk that he didn’t know what was going on. I think that hindered him from getting the Monogamist Award for the season. However, there seems to be a new contender for that award. Patrick from Scissors Me Timbers was acting odd. He wouldn’t stop molesting the women. I saw him going up to women and placing his hands in areas that shouldn’t be there especially with women who had boyfriends. At one point, I saw him trying to kiss Cathy, the ambiguous captain of GNF. I think he wanted to convince her that she should be straight, but I think that made her more determined to play for the same team. Maybe there should be an award called the Fonzie award...the guy who CAN’T get the girls.

Week 4 – Flicup that night could have been a scene on Girls Gone Wild. There were a few midriffs that appeared during flipcup. Unfortunately, these midriffs didn’t belong to the gorgeous ladies of kickball. They belonged to Justin and Rico Suave of Blue Ballerz and Chazz of GNF. At first, Justin tied his shirt to show off his “manly” abs. I think I saw a huge pack. If he didn’t drink so much that night, I’m sure you will find a 6-pack somewhere. THEN Rico Suave decided to join in on the action. Could Justin and Rico Suave be the next cutest couple for WAKA CA Pacific Division? They seemed so cozy rubbing stomachs and hugging each other. I’m telling you, it should be on Girls Gone Wild! In the words of Paris Hilton...THATS HOT!!! I believe Chazz got jealous and decided to take part in it and it became a threesome. Rosemary of HHHHEEEEYYYY decided to show her love for Rico Suave and went down on him and kissed it. If you are thinking something else, then kickball has done their job and you are officially corrupted. She kissed his tummy silly! I think she was trying to convince him that he should leave Justin and stay straight. You would think beer would hinder her judgment and caused her to kiss him; however, a little bird told me that she was only having water for her shots that night. So you make the call...

After seeing all that, I had to go home and celebrate the madness. I just didn’t know it would take me weeks to recover and write this.

Week 5 – Sorry guys, I wasn’t there that night. DON’T think you are safe. I will find out what happened that night on the field and at Gilly’s. Thanks Leppykhan! I will look into RJ’s rendition of Material Girl!

See you on the field...
you still can’t see me!

Deep Throat

The More You Know

After an exciting ride at the top for the first few weeks, the yellow team now sits semi-contently at #4 .

Now we've never been one of those ultra-competitive jackass teams (ahem, Slow and Bouncy) but I have to be honest...it felt good to win. REEAAAL GOOD. Each week we found ourselves needing more and more wins to fuel the rush we felt before. And when the winning was over we felt low, lonely, and depressed. So that we found our selves itching for our next fix.

Winning began to affect our social lives. Friends began noticing a negative change in our attitudes, we were suddenly more focused on scoring and beginning to drink less - one of the first signs of an addiction to winning. At work we spoke incessantly of kickball, words like undefeated, and we won AGAIN became regular fixtures in our vocabulary. A couple of us even lost our jobs because of our obsession with winning.

Winning began to take over other parts of our lives as well - which became especially difficult for the three couples on our team (man, we do have a lot of couples on our team) since both parties have to win every single disagreement, everything becomes a huge fight. Hell, Steph and Biff almost divorced over their shared winning addiction. Luckily for their marriage, and for all of us - we were soon forced to face a loss, the only cure for a winning addiction.

They say you can't pull yourself up till you've hit rock bottom - well we hit it, hard. We lost not once, not twice, but three times in a row. To teams that we've beaten before! The detox from winning was hard on all of us, but we pulled through - and came out stronger for it in the end.

Looking back it's easy to see how we fell into a winning addiction, and we want to stop other teams from getting addicted to winning too. Here are some simple changes to look for within your own team that might indicate a winning addiciton:

1. You've stopped drinking during the game
2. You leave early from the bar - cause you gotta hit the gym tomorrow.
3. You've begun ironing your waka tshirt
4. You won't leave the house on thursday unless your wristbands match your headband that matches your socks that match your shorts that match your waka tshirt.
5. Your friends look away in shame when you start a sentence with, "My kickball team..." or "On Thursday..."

Remember the first step to recovery is admiting that you have a problem.

One day at a time,
Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY

RJ, A Man Of His Word, Word (Warning, Not Turkey Sammich Compatible).

So, apparently there was some buzz at the bar about a song that our very own CA Pacific President sung...

I was told by a little bird that he had told one of the girls on his team that his birthday present to her was for her to pick out any song her little heart desired, and he would sing it. Yo.

This is stull further proof that public humiliation is still the best present someone could give.

For those that missed it, consider this (less disturbing) artists rendition of the "crimescene", and understand why we can't discuss further details. And no, that's not a nipple.

Due to the original objection of the horrible picture... The picture was a bit disturbing (Note by disturbing, I mean hilarious). You can still see it here, if you aren't a sissy pansy crybaby. Still, you should finish your lunch first, just sayin.

The Sprinkler Gods have heard our cries and answered our prayers...

...or so they say.

But I do have pretty creditable insider information that the sprinklers will no longer be an issue on our battle grounds. So we'll see how it goes.

Dearest Yellow

We wanted to show you our love in the form of runs scored against you. Looks like we love you more than you love us... and yet you are the ones wiping away the tears.

Next up, Orange. Pretty good and all from what the records show. I hereby give them a 65% chance of beating Red (somewhere between now and eternity).

It's so nice to have these top matchups right in the middle of the season. Just remember, when Red wins, we all win. When Orange wins, eh.

Dear red team,

The only reason you won* against yellow is because many of our players were out...good luck next time - you're going to need it.

Sincerely,

Team HHHHEEEEYYYYY

*If you're desperate enough to really call it a win.

Yellow Vs. Red, An Epic Showdown.

This game has been circled on my calendar for years! YEARS! It's time to get our vengeance after Yellow narrowly defeated us at flipcup several weeks ago.

VENGEANCE!

Seriously though, your team is sooo much better than Red.

Like, you have more wins, and like, your girls are good at flipping cups, and the way everybody just has kickball in their perverse little souls. I can't speak for my teammates, but I just want you to remember, I'll be picturing each and every one of you, regardless of gender, naked when you run the bases. You may want to cover up your "fun parts" with your hands or something. Just sayin.

News10 is feeling the WAKA love...

This is it folks, our first big Hollywood break!! Okay, not exactly but News10 IS coming out April 3rd to do a feature on WAKA Kickball in San Diego... that means YOU! This is pretty exciting and a wonderful opportunity to spread the word about WAKA (and kickball in general) to our local community.

So on Thursday, BE EARLY and together we'll kick balls!!