Dear Ghost Man,
I'm a single kickballer, and have a huge thing for one of the players on another team. How do I approach this other team player? Are inter-team relations frowned upon in this league?
Lack of Love
Dear Lack of Love,
This is a common problem for many kickballers. I suggest you try one of these tried-and-true methods for wooing your beloved kickballer.
1. Challenge him/her to a flip cup challenge. Try 2, 5, even 10-Cup Flip Cup. A little drinky-poo doesn't hurt in the lack of inhibition department. Obviously do not attempt to hook up with anyone who is way more drunk than yourself, but if you are equal amounts drunk then no one is taking advantage of the other.
2. Try singing him/her a song via karaoke - no kickballer can resist karaoke. Extra points for wacky dance moves and songs with your beloved's name in them.
3. When all else fails pass a note during study hall or send a friend to find out if he/she likes you.
And remember ALL relationships are celebrated in kickball.
-Ghost Man
Dear Ghost Man,
Recently I've suffered a career threatening injury. I've got a huge gash on my bunting foot. Dr. Andrews is suggesting season ending surgery, but I'm not so sure. What is the best way to deal with injuries in this league?
Wincing Bunter
Dear Wincing Bunter,
Keep playing until your foot falls off. There is nothing worse that not being able to play kickball - any doctor that says things like, "you'll still lead a fulfilling life" is full of shit and should not be trusted. Pour some vodka on your foot (and in your mouth) and go bunt your little heart out.
-Ghost Man
Dear Ghost Man,
I want to know more about you. What makes you tick? How do you reply to emails if you are ethereal? Do "Ghost Mans" have to eat?
Curious Sally
Dear Curious Sally,
Obviously you do not read this blog thoroughly enough. I've already taken the liberty of describing myself and my interest in my profile, there's nothing more that you need to know than that.
I don't really HAVE to eat, but I do enjoy some tasty morsels & libations on occasion.
-Ghost Man
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8 comments:
You must be a flippin' moran if you're asking R.J. for help!!!!
What? Ghost man is RJ?
Dear Ghost Man, How do I spell Moron?
Sincerely,
F- in Speeling Class
You're both morans who can't speel!
That's right, TIT'S is GMOT. I think. Oh well, let's talk some more shit!!!!
Watch your language, this is a family blog.
Watch your language, this is a family blog.
Ghost man is not RJ - it's Tiffany aka Tits. RJ and Janna both have publishing rights to the blog as well - but anything written under GMOT is Tiffany - this season.
PS - Shit talk is always encouraged - just don't be all moranic about it!
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