It's 12:22 am on Friday. I'm having a little trouble typing because I'm just a little bit more than buzzed. Yes, I just arrived home from Gilly's. Fresh from a victory on the field and "I'm sorry" free beers from WAKA (which by the way, were awesome).
Tonight was a great kickball night at Gilly's. Everyone was having a good time. Several kickballers were VERRRRY intoxicated - which should make for an interesting DEEP THROAT this week.
There were many many reasons to celebrate this evening. #1 for us Yellow shirts is the fact that we are still #1 in the league....yes we beat Slow and Bouncy tonight (not to gloat, but wooohoo)! #2 we had free beer, if that's not a reason to celebrate then I don't know what is. #3...well I just don't care enough to think of other reasons to write.
All I really have to say is that I hope everyone had and continues to have as much fun as I and my friends around me did tonight.
PS- if you think the GMOT reports too much about the Yellow team - you are right, but that's all I know. If you want to see more of your team posted, then submit articles to GMOTeditor@yahoo.com. I'll post it.
Happy Kickballing!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Yellow = Awesome
Sure the season is still a toddler at only two weeks, but that doesn't mean that the Yellow team (HHHHHEEEEYYYYY) isn't going to brag about being undefeated. That's right, U-N-D-E-F-E-A-T-E-D. Put that in your mouth and chew on it.
In all seriousness, the CA Pacific teams better step it up if you plan to make a dent on Team Yellow's perfect record. They handed the first defeat of the season over to the Rabid Badgers and then blasted through the Yay Ger Bombs (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) - next in the line of futile "opponents", Slow and Bouncy.
Sure, they may have a had a preeetty good game last season, but Team HHHHHHEEEEEEEYYYYY is confident that their athletic prowess will overcome Slow and Bouncy once and for all.
May the best team win.
HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Red Team, Now Humbled.
So, uh, we were going to go give it to the Black team, and promptly fell on our faces.
Red has been humbled, look elsewhere for good teams.
Red has been humbled, look elsewhere for good teams.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Deep Throat
Deep Throat is sad. Where are the kickballers from yore? We had seasons filled with gossip and secrets. I need scandal and gossip people!!! You are making it very hard for me to replace Perez Hilton.
The only thing I did witness is a fight between a very cute couple from team HHHHEEEEYYYY. But no worries, I was informed their fights usually end in 5 minutes which it did. (IS THAT POSSIBLE!!! WHAT IS THEIR SECRET?) However, I do wish I was a fly on the wall near them to listen in.
Is Cathy from GNF playing on the same team? If you don’t know what I mean, then kickball hasn’t corrupted you yet. She was nuzzled nicely between Sara’s breasts, Sara & breasts belong to the Blue Ballerz. I was shocked that the sweet, adorable Cathy was behaving in such an ambiguous manner. Maybe she plays on both teams because I then saw her do that with Matt from the Blue Ballerz. He didn’t have much on his chest, but he did say that Cathy will give him a lap dance later.
Well, that’s it for now. Have a fun weekend and see you next Thursday! Oh wait, you don’t know who I am...SUCKERS!!!
The only thing I did witness is a fight between a very cute couple from team HHHHEEEEYYYY. But no worries, I was informed their fights usually end in 5 minutes which it did. (IS THAT POSSIBLE!!! WHAT IS THEIR SECRET?) However, I do wish I was a fly on the wall near them to listen in.
Is Cathy from GNF playing on the same team? If you don’t know what I mean, then kickball hasn’t corrupted you yet. She was nuzzled nicely between Sara’s breasts, Sara & breasts belong to the Blue Ballerz. I was shocked that the sweet, adorable Cathy was behaving in such an ambiguous manner. Maybe she plays on both teams because I then saw her do that with Matt from the Blue Ballerz. He didn’t have much on his chest, but he did say that Cathy will give him a lap dance later.
Well, that’s it for now. Have a fun weekend and see you next Thursday! Oh wait, you don’t know who I am...SUCKERS!!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Thanks For Coming Out, Blue team.
If you may have missed it, a legendary battle took place on Thursday between the Red Gods and the Blue Ballers.
Blue was up 4-2 going into the bottom of the 5th inning. That's when things got serious. Red put on a clinic for the ages, beating the ball to the gaps and running like the wind in route to the most dominant 1 run come from behind victory that the league has ever seen (at least, so far this season).
Tears were flowing, curses filled the air, and the GNF celebrated yet another victory. The more you try, the more you realize, Red is invincible. You are going to need a mighty big slingshot to beat this goliath.
We would like to thank Blue for coming out to the game. Maybe in a future season they can even have a chance to put up a W in their column. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Blue was up 4-2 going into the bottom of the 5th inning. That's when things got serious. Red put on a clinic for the ages, beating the ball to the gaps and running like the wind in route to the most dominant 1 run come from behind victory that the league has ever seen (at least, so far this season).
Tears were flowing, curses filled the air, and the GNF celebrated yet another victory. The more you try, the more you realize, Red is invincible. You are going to need a mighty big slingshot to beat this goliath.
We would like to thank Blue for coming out to the game. Maybe in a future season they can even have a chance to put up a W in their column. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Mingling Singles Bachelor #1
Line up ladies, our first bachelor of the season is on the prowl.
Name: RJ McKay
Age: almost 30
Occupation: Works for a local hospital, oh and is currently El Presidente of WAKA CA Pacific
Hobbies: Can roll with hard on Guitar Hero (is that some kind of code?)
In his own words: "I try to treat a woman well, very thoughtful, blah blah blah."
Skills: Extremely advanced handsomeness skills
Name: RJ McKayAge: almost 30
Occupation: Works for a local hospital, oh and is currently El Presidente of WAKA CA Pacific
Hobbies: Can roll with hard on Guitar Hero (is that some kind of code?)
In his own words: "I try to treat a woman well, very thoughtful, blah blah blah."
Skills: Extremely advanced handsomeness skills
Our first featured single, is your WAKA President. Ladies, let me tell you, he is the hunk of all hunks. In his own mind at least. He is finally single, so it's one of the rare opportunities you will have to see him do his intricate mating dance in his natural habitat.
A little background information on the guy... he was expelled from his former team and thrust upon a new team this season. Many say it's because of his extreme kickball intensity (see, roid rage). Many think it's because he's convinced that he's a vampire after a movie role he had where he won the award for "Worst Supporting Actor, in a Movie, Ever." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100856/.
He went to Evil U, where he got his B.S. in Conversation. It is rumored that he is the brother of the guy on Grey's Anatomy. He's barely two notches over a drooling idiot, but he does still drool, and leaves something to be desired in the "avoiding idiocy" department. A popular rumor is that is so obsessed with big words that he keeps a dictionary under his pillow. He's both handy AND capable. He's (mostly) house-trained. He likes to take long walks on the beach, by himself. He is an enigma wrapped up in a riddle, wrapped up in a rhyme. His rap name is Masta Urge. He's missing his left index toe due to frostbite after climbing Mount Everest. He has a fast car, some say that's because he needs one to escape the law. His weaknesses are many, but in the end, he's the sort of guy you would like to bring home to mother...so you can both make fun of him together.
His biology career has been quite luctrative, identifying several types of fish as well as a considerable amount of study on spiders. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._J._McKay. He would tell you (without even consulting with a manual) that fish swim in water, whereas spiders eat things and are generally creepy crawly. His current work mostly involves making sure the sasquatch population is large enough in quantity to be taken off the endangered species list. While singlehandedly curing cancer. He's always wrong, but thinks he's always right. He's always on time - when the word "free" is involved in the event description. He grew up in a town with less people than live on the block Gilly's is on. Millions of people can't be wrong, this guy's a keeper.
A little background information on the guy... he was expelled from his former team and thrust upon a new team this season. Many say it's because of his extreme kickball intensity (see, roid rage). Many think it's because he's convinced that he's a vampire after a movie role he had where he won the award for "Worst Supporting Actor, in a Movie, Ever." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100856/.
He went to Evil U, where he got his B.S. in Conversation. It is rumored that he is the brother of the guy on Grey's Anatomy. He's barely two notches over a drooling idiot, but he does still drool, and leaves something to be desired in the "avoiding idiocy" department. A popular rumor is that is so obsessed with big words that he keeps a dictionary under his pillow. He's both handy AND capable. He's (mostly) house-trained. He likes to take long walks on the beach, by himself. He is an enigma wrapped up in a riddle, wrapped up in a rhyme. His rap name is Masta Urge. He's missing his left index toe due to frostbite after climbing Mount Everest. He has a fast car, some say that's because he needs one to escape the law. His weaknesses are many, but in the end, he's the sort of guy you would like to bring home to mother...so you can both make fun of him together.
His biology career has been quite luctrative, identifying several types of fish as well as a considerable amount of study on spiders. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._J._McKay. He would tell you (without even consulting with a manual) that fish swim in water, whereas spiders eat things and are generally creepy crawly. His current work mostly involves making sure the sasquatch population is large enough in quantity to be taken off the endangered species list. While singlehandedly curing cancer. He's always wrong, but thinks he's always right. He's always on time - when the word "free" is involved in the event description. He grew up in a town with less people than live on the block Gilly's is on. Millions of people can't be wrong, this guy's a keeper.
Ask Ghost Man
Dear Ghost Man,
Recently I've ended up in a rather awkward situation. I've learned to read people's minds. It started out innocently, it was cool being able to tell what people's impressions of me were. That is until I realized that everyone thinks I'm a douchbag. Seriously, nobody likes me at all! But nobody will tell me to my face. I haven't told anyone that I can read their mind. Part of me wants to let them know that their thoughts are know longer private, but part of me wants them to know so they will stop thinking such mean things about me. What should I do?
-Perplexed Gypsy
Dear Perplexed,
Stop being such a douche.
-Ghost Man
Dear Ghost Man,
Recently I've had an outbreak of termites in my house. It's rather bad since some people have fallen from the top floor of my house to the bottom floor, breaking furniture and themselves on the way down. I don't have enough money to repair all of the termite damage. My friends are in the hospital, and my furniture is broken. I'd like to find higher durability friends, and furniture that can take an impact. Can you help?
-Termites In My Checkbook
Dear Termites,
That is quite the situation you've gotten yourself into, not as bad as that douchebag above though! I recommend that you bulk-up, grow a beard, done some flannel, and move the Pacific Northwest. There you will hopefully befriend some lumberjacks who will know exactly what to do with your woody pests. In an effort to make this transition as smooth as possible for you, I've listed some helpful tips to make friends with lumberjacks.
1. Beer or whiskey - no other drink should occupy your hand or your mouth. That includes water, milk, juice, sodas, and light beers - that [read in girly voice] hydrating crap is for hippies.
2. This one may be difficult, but it's a sure thing. If you can find yourself an extremely large (you might say giant) blue ox - they will accept you as one of their own, no questions asked.
3. Leave your car in San Diego - Lumberjacks don't drive, they log roll.
4. Do not, under any circumstances reveal the fact that you now are or every were associated with a kickball team. Not only will they kick your freaky ass - they will blacklist you from every lumberjack circle in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Canada, and Alaska....and anywhere else where lumberjacks live.
5. When in doubt challenge them to a game of flip cup - it's the universal language of fun!
-Ghost Man
Recently I've ended up in a rather awkward situation. I've learned to read people's minds. It started out innocently, it was cool being able to tell what people's impressions of me were. That is until I realized that everyone thinks I'm a douchbag. Seriously, nobody likes me at all! But nobody will tell me to my face. I haven't told anyone that I can read their mind. Part of me wants to let them know that their thoughts are know longer private, but part of me wants them to know so they will stop thinking such mean things about me. What should I do?
-Perplexed Gypsy
Dear Perplexed,Stop being such a douche.
-Ghost Man
Dear Ghost Man,
Recently I've had an outbreak of termites in my house. It's rather bad since some people have fallen from the top floor of my house to the bottom floor, breaking furniture and themselves on the way down. I don't have enough money to repair all of the termite damage. My friends are in the hospital, and my furniture is broken. I'd like to find higher durability friends, and furniture that can take an impact. Can you help?
-Termites In My Checkbook
Dear Termites,
That is quite the situation you've gotten yourself into, not as bad as that douchebag above though! I recommend that you bulk-up, grow a beard, done some flannel, and move the Pacific Northwest. There you will hopefully befriend some lumberjacks who will know exactly what to do with your woody pests. In an effort to make this transition as smooth as possible for you, I've listed some helpful tips to make friends with lumberjacks.
1. Beer or whiskey - no other drink should occupy your hand or your mouth. That includes water, milk, juice, sodas, and light beers - that [read in girly voice] hydrating crap is for hippies.2. This one may be difficult, but it's a sure thing. If you can find yourself an extremely large (you might say giant) blue ox - they will accept you as one of their own, no questions asked.
3. Leave your car in San Diego - Lumberjacks don't drive, they log roll.
4. Do not, under any circumstances reveal the fact that you now are or every were associated with a kickball team. Not only will they kick your freaky ass - they will blacklist you from every lumberjack circle in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Canada, and Alaska....and anywhere else where lumberjacks live.
5. When in doubt challenge them to a game of flip cup - it's the universal language of fun!
-Ghost Man
Kickball QOTD (Quote Of The Day)
"Athletes need 'freedom of excess'. That is why we gave them this motto [Citius, Altius, Fortius] a motto for people who dare to try to break records."
-Pierre de Coubertin
-Pierre de Coubertin
Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY Dominates
Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY were the big winners in last nights games both on and off the field.
They came out victorious in their match-up against the Rabid Badgers (final score: 10-5). And I might add, they looked amazing in bright yellow.
But more importantly - Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY dominated in Flip Cup. JuMex (aka Christy Johnsin) won the first round of Survivor flip cup and promptly dazzled fellow kickballers with her tabletop worm, with little regard to her all-white ensemble - now that's a true flip-cupper!
In round two of Survivor flip cup - your very own GMOT Editor and Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYY Co-Captain, Tits (aka Tiffany Billings) reluctantly performed the worm after dominating the flip action, actually she just laid down on the table while other's pushed her across - it sucks writing in the third person!
To top the night off (and just before we were required to move the beer inside) team HHHHEEEEEYYYYY issued a Flip Cup challenge to Gone Nuckin Futz - and so the relay began. It wasn't looking good for HHHHEEEEYYY after GNF won the first two games, but in a classic Cinderalla-come-back, Team HHHHHEEEEYYYYY won the next three rounds and GNF had to bow down in reverence to the Gods of Flip Cup.
They came out victorious in their match-up against the Rabid Badgers (final score: 10-5). And I might add, they looked amazing in bright yellow.
But more importantly - Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY dominated in Flip Cup. JuMex (aka Christy Johnsin) won the first round of Survivor flip cup and promptly dazzled fellow kickballers with her tabletop worm, with little regard to her all-white ensemble - now that's a true flip-cupper!
In round two of Survivor flip cup - your very own GMOT Editor and Team HHHHEEEEEYYYYY Co-Captain, Tits (aka Tiffany Billings) reluctantly performed the worm after dominating the flip action, actually she just laid down on the table while other's pushed her across - it sucks writing in the third person!
To top the night off (and just before we were required to move the beer inside) team HHHHEEEEEYYYYY issued a Flip Cup challenge to Gone Nuckin Futz - and so the relay began. It wasn't looking good for HHHHEEEEYYY after GNF won the first two games, but in a classic Cinderalla-come-back, Team HHHHHEEEEYYYYY won the next three rounds and GNF had to bow down in reverence to the Gods of Flip Cup.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Flip Cup
Some of you kickball virgins may be wondering what all the commotion around the big table in the back of Gilly's is. IT's FLIP CUP. Yes, the same flip cup that many of us played in college, or high school for the early beer bloomers.
SURVIVOR FLIP CUP
1. Everyone buys at least one pitcher (hint: you will make more friends if you buy 2 and probably get some action if you buy 3 or more).
2. We gather around the table and fill our plastic cups with a shot of beer. Everyone fills their cup with different amounts - we do not care how much beer you have in there, only that you have some. Not drinking? Still want to play? No problem grab some water or soda to play with. Only when performing a drink-off do we measure and compare beer levels in the cups
3. Someone (usually me) yells: "Cups at the ready" then "Go, Go, GO!"
4. Chug your beer.
5. Set your cup so it hangs slightly over the edge of the counter top.
6. Flick it with your index finger.
7. If it doesn't land upside down, then grab your cup and place at the edge of the counter top again.
8. Repeat steps 6-7 until your cup lands upside down
9. If yours is the last cup flipped then you are out of the game.
10. If you win flip cup - then you will win the respect and envy of all kickballers. That is until we make you do the worm on the table and soak you with beer.
11. Before you even ask - YES! everyone has to do the worm, even you.
BOAT RACES FLIP CUP
At 9:00 pm we are no longer allowed to have alcohol on the back patio at Gilly's, so we bring the game inside. Unfortunately there is not as much room in there for our favored Survivor game - so we turn to our second Flip Cup game, Boat Races.
Boat races is your traditional team, relay-style flip-cup game. You need even an even number of people on each team - or some crazy bastard willing to double (or sometimes triple) flip. You pick a side to start on and choose which direction the team will go. Everyone lines up by matching cups with the person in front of your (your enemy, not your teammate). Then the two starters touch cups and go. Your drink must remain on the table until the person before you has flipped their cup. The first team to flip all their cups wins. Celebration ensues - to celebrate we drink more beer and play more flip cup. We truly are single minded creatures.
TEN CUP FLIP CUP
For the truly bad-ass flip cup connoisseur - we offer ten cup flip cup. This is a flip off between two ballers. This event requires many spectators to cheer on the particpants - if you perform a 10 Cup Flip Cup challenge without spectators, then you are a pretty sad soul. So grab your friends and teammates - random strangers even and step up to the long table in the middle of Gilly's. Each player lines up 10 cups and fills with a shot of beer in each glass. In this game equal amounts of beer should be consumed by both players (because half the difficulty is downing 10 shots of beer). After everyone agrees that the amounts are equal pick up your first cup - cheers your opponent and start chugging and flipping. Spectators should clear the way to the bathroom for the winner who may need to quickly expell large quanities of beer from his/her system. Good luck!
The best way to learn flip cup is to watch. It should only take one game for you to get it. If it takes more than that then you should probably switch to water right away.
Kickball QOTD (Quote Of The Day)
"... I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school ..."
-Dane Cook
Deep Throat - The New GMOT Gossip Section
Hello Newbies & Veterans!!!!
Welcome to another fun season of WAKA Kickball! I hope you get to enjoy this season by meeting new friends, reconnecting with old friends and of course getting a bit inebriated from playing flipcup, actually I hope you get a lot inebriated - it gives me something to write about.
I am in important person to know in this league - but nobody knows me. I am DEEP THROAT - reporting rampant gossip and tawdry scandals going on within the league. I am everywhere. So consider yourself warned. If you don't want to see mention of yourself here, then you should probably resort to acting like a boring, perfect, little angel. But if I know kickballers - the little devils will be emerging soon. You can say so long to the secret hookups of yesterseason. (You can still hook up, it just won't be so secret anymore!) Who likes who, who did what embarassing thing at the bar - all up for grabs! And oh the pictures that I will post will have Perez Hilton green with envy. You are not safe, no one is....MUWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Who is Deep Throat? That’s for me to know and you to NOT find out. To preserve the journalistic integrity of this column (and my super hero alter-ego), my identity must be kept a secret.
Please keep in mind that this column just for fun - we will use discretion in posting anything that may cause any real harm ;-)
With that said...Happy Kickball!
<3 Deep Throat
Welcome to another fun season of WAKA Kickball! I hope you get to enjoy this season by meeting new friends, reconnecting with old friends and of course getting a bit inebriated from playing flipcup, actually I hope you get a lot inebriated - it gives me something to write about.
I am in important person to know in this league - but nobody knows me. I am DEEP THROAT - reporting rampant gossip and tawdry scandals going on within the league. I am everywhere. So consider yourself warned. If you don't want to see mention of yourself here, then you should probably resort to acting like a boring, perfect, little angel. But if I know kickballers - the little devils will be emerging soon. You can say so long to the secret hookups of yesterseason. (You can still hook up, it just won't be so secret anymore!) Who likes who, who did what embarassing thing at the bar - all up for grabs! And oh the pictures that I will post will have Perez Hilton green with envy. You are not safe, no one is....MUWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Who is Deep Throat? That’s for me to know and you to NOT find out. To preserve the journalistic integrity of this column (and my super hero alter-ego), my identity must be kept a secret.
Please keep in mind that this column just for fun - we will use discretion in posting anything that may cause any real harm ;-)
With that said...Happy Kickball!
<3 Deep Throat
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Afterparty is at Gilly's!
It’s 10:00 pm on Thursday, I’m at Gilly’s, where the f**k are you?
Seriously, come to the bar…even if you don’t feel like drinking (have a coke), even if you have to work early (just stay for an hour or two), even if you can’t find a babysitter (wait, that actually is a pretty good excuse). Because Gilly’s is the place to interact with other teams, you play with your team on the field but you play with all teams at the bar, and that is what makes Gilly’s so much fun.
If you do happen to make it to Gilly’s this week, please stop by and say hi, I’m the girl kicking everyone’s ass at flip cup.
Did you know: Only 20% of the fun happens on the field, the rest happens at the bar.
Ask yourself this question: Do I really want to miss out on 80% of the fun?
If you answer “yes” or “I don’t care”, then you should look deep within your soul to see if kickball is right for you. I suggest going to the library or donating blood, maybe (if you are feeling edgy) you could shop for car insurance.
Seriously, come to the bar…even if you don’t feel like drinking (have a coke), even if you have to work early (just stay for an hour or two), even if you can’t find a babysitter (wait, that actually is a pretty good excuse). Because Gilly’s is the place to interact with other teams, you play with your team on the field but you play with all teams at the bar, and that is what makes Gilly’s so much fun.
If you do happen to make it to Gilly’s this week, please stop by and say hi, I’m the girl kicking everyone’s ass at flip cup.
Cheers Bitches!
Tiffany
Welcome to the New and Improved GMOT!
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